Its so cold
by awesomenerd95
Summary: Set after daddys boy. Houses parents resent visit stirs up old memories and feelings. What happens when the team and Wilson dicover secrets from his past, will he let them in? warning for abuse/ no ships yet...
1. Chapter 1

Ok I know this has a similar beginning to my other story nightmare but it's going to be really different as it progresses, please tell me what you think and if I should continue, next chapter the team will be more involved. Read, enjoy, review

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The week following his parents visit had been hell for House. All the memories of his childhood, he had forced himself to not think about, skillfully suppressed had now been stirred back up brining unwelcome emotion, stabbing at his conscious brain. He couldn't sleep, terrifying nightmares kept him up staring into the black of his room, watching shadows dance across his walls. He barley ate reminded him of punishment he would suffer over eating arrangements at his house. The pain that stayed long after the marks had gone, and not all of them had.

The tiered doctor leaned heavily against his cane rubbing hard at his red eyes.

"Differential diagnosis," He said in his normal intimidating voice that now shook his frail thin body. The team was quite in thought, staring intently at the white board as if willing it to give them the answer. Each had noticed their boss's poor appearance but didn't think much of it. House being his destructive self.

"Or we could just sit here like idiots and let the guy dye, I mean we do save people a lot it would be nice to spice things up a little, give the morgue a little action" House said in his usual sarcastic air.

"Lupus," Kutner suggested

The agitated doctor hung his head in frustration to tiered to come up with a come back

"Homey and big nose go run a full blood panel, 13 go get a _dissent_ patent history, and elf lord go be stupid somewhere else."

They eyed him suspiciously, before slowly draining from the room.

House sighed in relief, leaning heavy against the smooth wood in his hand as his leg throbbed in protest to his standing. He needed soothing to keep his mind off things, so he decided to go do what he loved best, annoy Wilson.

House swung the door open to Wilson's office. Wilsons bent frame looked up from neatly stacked piles of paperwork,

"You know, there is such a thing as knocking"

"Ya but I'm not gay"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

House gave an exasperated sigh as if he were explaining this to a total idiot, "Unlike you I don't like "knocking" wood"

The oncologist sighed heavily before looking back down at his work, and then did a double take of House.

"You feeling ok," Wilson said his voice rigid with concern

"What's up with you and feelings, doesn't boy wonder ever take a break or you to busy rescuing cats from trees and bugging cripples!" The older doctor complained

Wilson continued ignoring the deflection, "Have you eaten anything recently?"

House had to think about that one. _I think I had half a bagel yesterday morning. _

"I'll take that as a no, come on I'll buy you lunch"

In all honesty House wasn't that hungry but he would suck it up for Wilson he didn't want anyone else fussing over him. The younger doctor stood with a groan, and arched his back, fists in the air trying to stretch out the kinks in his ageing body.

Houses eyes glazed over, his vision set on something far away, his legs turned to jell-o beneath him and he fell with a thud. He pulled his body into himself hand protectively cradling his pounding head.

"House…" Wilson said annoyed, _He does the stupidest things to get a rise out of me _

Wilson's worry rose like a tidal wave through him as house remained unresponsive rocking back and forth.

"House…" Wilson said while approaching his broken friend, as the distance between them shortened Houses breathing became more erratic.

"No…please…don't hit me, not again…I'm sorry, I'm sorry…please…dad" House whimpered, chest rising and falling raggedly.

Wilson surprised his surprise and jumped to action he had to snap his friend out of it before he started hyperventilating. Wilson set a gentle hand upon his shaking shoulder, he felt house flinch painfully at his touch.

"House its ok; you didn't do anything wrong, your safe, its ok" Houses body softened in reaction to his friends cooing.

"House?"

House struggled to stand against his protesting leg; it felt as if fire was being shot through his veins. As he staggered to his feet he closed his eyes trying to block out the world, but instead was cursed with images of his past projected on the inside of his eyelids .

"House?"

"Wilson," House said mocking his friends concern.

"What, what was, I mean why…" Wilson suddenly didn't know what to say normally so quick to latch on to neediness, he knew he wasn't going to get answers right away from House he'd have to approach it carefully.

House avoided his judging eyes, he felt ashamed. _I should have better control than this _he snared at himself angrily. The silence was thick and cold it covered the room like a blanket of snow.

"Well…sick people aren't going to cure them self's." House said while limping towards the door eager for escape.

"Wait House you have to talk about this," Wilson interjected forcefully

"Wilson…"

"No House you can't just deflect everything, you need…" Wilson continued before getting cut off

"Sense when the hell do you know what I need!" House blurted angrily, then composed himself and continued "Don't do this…just…just let it go" Pain flashed across his feature and settled in to the lines that had been so etched in to him, a familiar home of pain. Then he quickly covered it by his well practiced mask and walked out of a shocked Wilson's office.

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Ok I hope you enjoyed it!


	2. Chapter 2

I know this is kind of a short chapter sorry, the next one will be longer, and more intense. Thank you so much for your helpful review, they help a great deal plus make me smile! I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will try to update again this weekend.

Read, Enjoy, Review

Disclaimer: I looked in the mirror today and found out I'm not Davis Shore hence I don't own House : /

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Wilson stood frozen as if his feet were nailed to the floor, gawking at the empty space House had occupied minutes ago. If It wasn't for his shock he wouldn't have had the time to stop and analyze the situation before bursting through the door and chasing after House.

_He needs his space; he needs to cool off or he'll just lock me out. _

He forced his legs to carry him back to his desk but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't focus on his work.

House limped furiously down the hall. _What's the matter with me, my friend makes a simple fist and I'm reduced to crying ball on his flour about to piss myself, I'll tell me what's wrong with me, I'm pathetic! _

He mentally lashed himself as he entered the room of bickering minions.

"Woo what's wrong with you?" Thirteen asked eyeing him skeptically "you look like you just seen a ghost"

"Nope, just Cuddles boobs." House deflected. Thirteen merely rolled her eyes

"Really," Kutner asked impressed. Kutner showed real promise as a doctor and although House would never admit it, he was starting to grow on him, but sometime he could be as dense as trees.

"Yup, and trust me there way better then the virtual ones in your world of war cart game"

"Its World of War **craft**," he corrected under his breath.

"What the blood work say," their boss demanded.

"Are you sure you ok" Tab said eyeing him quizzically. House was feed up with people probing him all day, _can't everyone just go back to not caring and just assume it's the drugs! _

"_I'm _fine our patient on the other hand not so great, run a stress test, see if that will endues another heart attack then we will know if that's what caused it." House snarled limping to his office, then stopped "Or we could all just stand here like idiots, but you know the more patients die the more law suits, and that will seriously reduce my hooker budget."

_Just need to get away from them _the diagnostician sat down in his tan comfy chair, at first pretending to sleep just to get them to be board and leave, until his fatigued body gave in to the pull of heavy eyelids and a weary head a sent him off to a sea of uneasy sleep. When the team arrived back to their boss's office they found a sleeping figure in his chair.  
"Damn, he's still asleep; we need his help on this," Thirteen sighed. All of a sudden the teams gaze fell upon their co-worker, Taub's face. A large mistivious grin played across his lips.

"I Have an idea," He announced triumphantly "Payback." He quipped amused drawing himself to full height (Not making him much taller)


	3. Chapter 3

First of all I want to thank all of you so much who reviewed, added my story to your favorites, or added me to your alerts. It means more to me then I can tell you I also love that you guys enjoyed my Kutner/ Taub jokes .

Ok I'm nervous about this chapter, tell me if you like where this is headed if not I'm willing to make adjustments. Also someone asked about his old team getting involved tell me if you like this idea or not. Read, enjoy, review thank you

Also my spell check isn't working to I apologies for grammar and spelling errors

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Taub swiftly turned on his heels and headed to the sink in the conference room. He filled his ice cup, which once held coffee, up with cold water, he turned to Kutner who now stood behind him staring at him intently.

"Ohhh," Kutner breathed, with realization and excitement, and quickly did the same. The two walked back to House's office proudly wearing comical smirks. Forman rolled his eyes.

"You guys are just as childish as him," He said gesturing to their napping boss.

"You going to stop us," Taub questioned

"No. I said it was childish I never said it wasn't amusing."

13 stoop next to Formen staring on in eager interest. And with that the short doctor griped his cup, and nodded towards Kutner.

"Ready…1, 2, 3, now!" He screeched, as both doctor simultaneously splashed ice cold water onto an unexpecting House.

The reaction was instant, House shot out of a dreamless slumber, and a deep cold shiver ran up his spine and chilled his marrow.

The team broke out in laughter at their bosses reaction, even Formen who was now rolling his eyes had to struggle to stifle a chuckle. They saw his eyes fly open, but what they didn't inutile see was that although his eyes were open they were distant and glazed.

"Its sso cccold," a whine of a child fumbled out of his trembling lips.

"Oh suck it up House, it's only a little water!" Thirteen interjected confused at the thought that the master of pranks and games would complain about such a pathetic prank, if anything he would scold them for being too boring.

House couldn't hear the teasing voice of his colleague, but menacing voice of his father. He could see his tall figure shacking with laughter in the dark. He could feel his father's steely voice in his ear as he screamed; _"Suck it up boy, it only a little water!"_ "_You'll never survive in this world, you're a failure now and always will be, you deserve this punishment" _House could even feel the icy black water lick at his clammy skin at the cold wind slice through his thin face.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry"

"House," Tab questioned now paying attention to their boss, he had never heard him apologize. Formen leaned forward with a new found curiosity. The older doctor was starting to convulse more violently now, pulling his knees into his chest.

"Please…please, its ssso cccold…please…sir."

"Is he having a…flash back?" Tab asked amazed by the display of vulnerability he doubt any one had ever seen the cynic show before. None of them moved frozen with morbid curiosity. House's breathing hitched dangerously close to hyperventilating.

It was then that his oncologist friend walked through the door hands on hips in his classic, "we need to talk pose". When his eyes fell upon the disturbing scene

"Move," he demanded maneuvering through the limp bodies to House. He squatted in his pressed dress pants, chocolate brown eyes staring into vacant blue. Wilson steadied his own hands as best he could and placed them firmly on his friend's arms.

"He's breathing too quickly," The worried oncologist announced to the small audience.

In the world of the past that House was now submerged in, he knew that it was time for the worst part of this particular punishment. His father's steel hands griped around him pushing him under the water. Lungs burning, begging for a breath of the night air instead greeted with the pain of the icy water filling them, hands clawing desperately at the bottom of the metal bin like a cat in water. Completely and utterly trapped. The hands of his father, the hands of his past, and the hands of his friend, he had fallen into their grasp. All different yet all felt the same, cold, so cold.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the wait, but in return I give you a nice long chapter.

This chapter is very important and was hard for me to get the emotion rite I hope you enjoy it and believe it to be realistic please let me know and if it is absolutely awful I am totally willing to rewrite it.

Also thank you for inquiring about being my Beta I would love all the help I can get. And thank you for all the wonderful reviews they mean a lot to me. Read, enjoy, review

Warning: mild violence and language/ don't own House md

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House was swimming in his own mind struggling to surface and awaken through heavy eyelids, his ears hummed with his own steady heart beat slowly voices came in through the quite. Finally ice blue eyes brining the world in to focus. Sights, sounds, texture all flooding him.

"Cold," the word fell from his mouth before he could stop it. He looked around the room orientating himself, noticing a worried Wilson crouching in front of him, mirrored by the curious and frightened eyes of his employees.

"Are you still…cold…House," Wilson asked exchanging worried glances with his team.

_Shit! Everyone knows now. I have to option deflect or run…Shit. _ He thought bitterly to himself but the idea of even standing made him dizzy so he went with the first tactic.

"Apparently I'm not the only one either," He said smugly winking over at Thirteen, as she stared on confused.

"And yes I can tell from here the girls are perky, careful you wouldn't want to poke someone's eye out." Thirteen crossed her arms over her chest, her face filling with blood. The room let out a small breath of relief at least he still had his crude annoying humor. But Wilson's gaze was unrelenting he knew it was a sad attempt at a deflection.

"House this is serious…do you remember what happened, do you know what's going on" Wilson focused on keeping his voice even, while Kutner and Tab hung their heads in shame.

"I know that mega dork and super Jew are morons," He said nodding his head towards Kutner and Tab, "You are wearing a chick deflecting argyle tie, my Hommy- G over there is bored and uncomfortable and Thirteen better stop staring at me with those sympathetic puppy dog eyes or I'm firing her, and that will mean less hot lesbian sex for her." They stared of in opposite direction. The young female doctor opened her mouth like she was going to say something when House quickly interjected.

"It would be hard for your "little friends" to use you for my medical attention if you don't work for me."

Now everyone was feeling the weight of the awkwardness, except Forman he looked like he was actually somewhat interested.

_Every ones offended and lost in their own world, time for my escape…if only I had some evil villain music to help my exit. _

The grey haired diagnostician took in a deep breath from the oxygen mask and braced himself for lift off. He stood on wobbly legs clamping his eyes shut willing them to hold him up. Wilson jetted up from his crouching position like a frog.

"Easy there House," He warned

"I'm Fine," The angry doctor said a little too forcefully and quickly.

"You need to rest," He said trying to gently ebbe his friend back into the chair.

"You stopped breathing…and you were having…a flashback," Taub informed

"I'm Fine!" His booming voice froze the others words in midair like icicles from a roof.

House brushed Wilson's hands from his shoulder and limped as quickly as he could out the door. The one question still remained in all their heads was he really fine, was any of this going to be fine, deep down they knew the answer.

He sat on his couch massaging his stiff leg letting the sounds and images of the T.V run past his eyes unnoticed.

Knock Knock

"Hey, it's me" a familiar voice slipped through the crakes of his door.

"You have a key"

A few seconds later the door hesitantly screeched in protest reviling, none other than James Wilson.

"Boy wonders come to save me," he said in his best damsel in distress voice.

"Nahh, I'm off the clock, I've actually come to drink beer and watch crappy T.V," He said holding up a six pack of shiny brown beer bottles laden with drops of condensation.

"Fair enough," House took the bait.

Wilson had restrained himself for a whole hour, his curiosity and need to "fix" things practically choking him.

The younger doctor let out a sigh, "House,"

"Wilson," House said mimicking his friends tone.

"About today…"

_Here we go; he has to ruin a perfectly __**silent**__ evening with his sensitive feelings crap. _

"What about it?"

"We have to talk…"

"No _you_ have to talk; you're the one that has the compulsive need to fix things"

"So your admitting there's something that needs to be fixed," Wilson shot back.

"Your rite I don't think we've been talking enough jimmy," he mocked in an over dramatic house wife fashion.

Wilson continued ignoring his deflection, he had been trying to get answers all day he wasn't giving up "What happened in your office today..."

"Is irrelevant," He stated plainly

"If it's as irrelevant and unimportant as you say it is, why not talk about it, we talk about unimportant things all the time… unless it does mean something to you, and it is relevant, and it **scares **you!" He was trained well in the manipulation of House anything that declared him as weak was hard for him, it was probably a punch below the belt but he was running out of options.

_It's not important, it's not important…just tell him…you're going to look weak either way _

"I hate my father," he stated as calmly as he could never taking his eyes from the TV screen.

_There's more to it,_ Wilson thought to himself

"Why"

"Does it matter?"

"If it doesn't you should have no problem telling me."

A thick silence blanketed the room

"He was an abusive bastered, I was a rebel, we didn't get along…boring," He reached forward grabbing a beer trying to write off his confession about his past no bigger than admitting a high school crush or a fart in an elevator.

There it was the truth, it temporarily paralyzed Wilson as puzzle pieces started falling in place, anger, rage, hurt. He wanted to beat the shit out of Houses father, he wanted to reach out and hug his friend but he restrained himself knowing it would do no good in Houses case.

House fidgeted uncomfortably under Wilsons stare, chocolate brown eyes boring into the side of his head.

"So today in your office…with the water," He managed to ramble out he knew House was close to his breaking point close to putting up the walls but we wanted to know, he had to know.

House tightened his fists involuntarily

"He, he would give me…ice bathes at night in the middle of winter…naked," The last part was so quite Wilson almost thought it was a breath instead of a word. House grabbed another beer, opened it and chugged determined not to let his nerves betray him.

Wilson's horror was growing by the second but he wanted one last piece of information and promised himself after he would let it go for awhile, one last push wouldn't do any harm…rite?

"Towards the end of the flashback…you got more…stressed," stressed didn't even began to cover it more like terrified, "You…you stopped breathing for awhile,"

"What more do want from me Wilson," His voice developing a steely edge.

"I want…I want to know what your father did at the end of the ice bath"

Houses birthing hitched in his chest tremors becoming visible in his small frame.

"Wow, House if this is too hard for you we don't have to talk about it," He regretted pushing him this far now; House was already close to the edge as it was.

_No. _He said firmly to himself, he was determined to prove to Wilson, to himself, to his dad, and to everyone this want hard to him. It was unimportant, he was not weak.

His jar tightened and nails dug into his palms bringing to life red rubies of blood.

"That…My…He…would hold me under...and keep me there until I was about to pass out…a couple times I did," He could feel the icy black water liking at his flesh taunting him.

"House, are you ok…"

"If I was would you be here!" "Listen I'm not some fixer upper project that if you love me enough and talk enough you can't make me better …I'm damaged goods… but I hope our "little talk" made you feel better Jimbo," his voice oozing with sarcasm and venom. He limped to his room despite his protesting leg and slammed the door.

Wilson sat on the couch letting the information wash over him trying to process it Houses distressed words running through his mind like a relentless echo.

What he realized in that moment, although he didn't even know the beginning of Houses dark secrets he knew that the cold that he felt in the room now was nothing like the cold that tormented House.

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For those of you who want some cuddy action and old duckling's interaction I promise in the next couple of chapters they will begin to become more involved. Please tell me what you think


	5. Chapter 5

Ya I know this story was on a rediculous hiatus on top of tests, home work, school, travel, theatre and sickness when I finally had time to update, my computer pooted out on me :/

please tell what you think idk if I like this chapter, the beginigngs kind of dark, and if it's a total abomination I can always rewrite it this is just my warm up from my long absence

read,enjoy,review

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Reality sliping through his hands like grains of sand, falling into the dark ocean of nothingness, and if he was lucky…he'd never surface again. The drugs, the alcohole supplied him with an artificcial ecstasy filling, taughnting him with an illusion of a pain free world.

But that's all they were illusions, deciving pictures that were painted across the inside of his eyelids, becoming more vivid with every drink, wanting to escape from what he prised himself on most...his mind.

He forced himself to think of terms of fact and reality even when the truth was a worse hell for him than the lies that were blessed upon him as he swam in a sea of alcohole. Reality was his hell, he could feel the flames licking his skin like the tongue of the devil, taking a little more then a little more from him leaving behind a body of burnt, ashen skin, but nothing more.

Yet he lived in the real world…untill he was alone, and his shields had been damaged from a long day of war and he couldn't hide the pain not from himself not from the demands that danced upon his walls, singing in the desolet. Yet the darknes refused to swallow him and the wieghts of his eyes refuced to drop and the world would not let go its relentless grip on him and grace his fatigued body with sleep.

So he sat there with his two unrelenting friends, the only thing constent in his life, pain and coldness. He clutched the brown bottle in his hand, whitch seemed like his only life vest to keep him from being pulled under by his two friends, whatching the clock tick by.

House plugged his vintage guitar into the amp and turned the volume as loud as it could go, adjusting it so the powerful blast was pointed at the sleeping figure on his couch…Wilson. A classic-House smirk stretched across his face.

He took his best rock star pose and struck the string dramatically, the loud echo vibrated through the small apartment. Wilson's arms swung wildly jerking out of what _was_ a peaceful sleep. Two brown sleep filled eyes peered out at House in a, what the hell way. His brown hair jetting out in wild directions, not nearly as bad has House's but an entertaining sight non-the-less.

"I didn't want my little Jimmy to be late for his bald kids," He said in a fake endearing tone.

"Was that completely necessary," Wilson grumbled looking around the room with annoyed squinted eyes, his ears still ringing from the disturbance.

"If I wanted to have any fun, then yes."

"What time is it?"

"4ish"

"First of all despite my charming appearance it only takes me an hour to get ready not two and second of all…why are _you_ up this early?"

"What makes you think I _woke up_"

Wilson paused for a while, mulling over Houses words

"You didn't sleep last night?"

"Sleep is for losers," he said childishly

"And why are you talking so loudly,"

"Boy aren't you just full of questions this morning," House said while pulling out two orange earplugs. Wilson merely shook his head and put his hands up in surrender, too tired to go into Houses crazy antics. He shuffled his way to the kitchen and opened the fridge. The only thing that he could find was an expired carton of milk and a couple of old Chinese take out boxes.

"This would explain why you only eat MY food," he said before slamming the door shut.

_Wait a second _

"House, where's the beer I brought over last night," He shouted to House who was now in the living room as he searched the fridge thoroughly once more.

"Gezz Wilson isn't it a little early to hit the sauce," House mocked shock.

Wilson's eyes grew with realization.

"You drank the whole thing, it was a six pack!" The Oncologist entered the living room, hands on hips.

"I was thirsty, you as a doctor should know it's important to stay hydrated." He limped heavily to the closet, his "bitchinnn" cane in hand. He could feel every muscle in his aching body tighten in anticipation; it was only a matter of time before the volcano of sentimental, gooey feelings crap, which was Wilson, erupted.

"There better ways of dealing with your problems…"

"Actually no there not, I'm not dealing, because there no problem to deal with, therefore dealing with an imaginary problem would in fact be worse." He swiftly (or as swiftly as he could) slipped on his jacket.

"Ya that's why a little water scarred the crap out of you yesterday," He immediately regretted his harsh words, but it was too late.

Something flickered across the older doctor's face, something almost resembling pain stirred in his ice blue ice, then quickly stifled by a well practiced mask.

"Lock the door on your way out," House stepped out into the cold frigid air, the wind tore and whipped across his stubbled face yet he let his jacket hang loosely from his skin pretending as if it couldn't penetrate his force field. Yet if he was honest with himself he would know he felt zero to the bone.

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Alright I hope you like it cuz I don't know if I do…*bits lip and awaits nervously for reviews*


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